COVERED BY LOVE: Love is a choice, not a feeling

feel -ing

An emotional state or reaction

What is love? Some say that love is a feeling, while others disagree and say that it is a choice. A choice that is made in a heated moment when an argument breaks out between yourself and your significant other, and you are wanting to throw in the towel. However, realizing that your love for that person goes beyond just a mere feeling, you decide to stay. Love is not just a mere emotion that you feel in the moment, but a choice that you make every single day.

Love is a choice not a feeling

Jesus is the perfect example of this. His mandate on Earth was not only to preach the gospel but ultimately to die for the sins of you and me. He knew what He was sent here to do, and yet, when the time came, there is a moment in the Garden of Gethsemane where we see Him bowing His face to the ground, praying:

“My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

This is a true depiction of love being a choice and not a feeling. Jesus was 100% God, but also 100% man. He felt every emotion and feeling known to man. He has always known what He was sent here to do. But as the time grew closer and the idea of what He truly was about to endure became a reality, He asked God for mercy. The question was asked, but look at His answer, “Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” He made a choice at that moment that He was going to do the will of His Father despite what He was feeling in the moment.

Love is a choice, not a feeling.

So, what does this tell us? If we are to follow the example of Jesus, then we ought to understand that love is bigger than what you may be feeling in a moment's time. It's a decision that needs to be upheld, regardless of circumstances. Now, what does that look like in real-time? It looks like 'pressing on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us' (Philippians 3:14). This is regardless of what life may be throwing at you, regardless of what you may be feeling in that moment because there's an understanding that the end goal supersedes what you may be feeling. This is not to say that you ought to disregard your feelings and just focus on your purpose. God cares about our feelings and our well-being. We must bring those feelings to Him, just like Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane, and allow Him to help us process them.

Love is a choice, not a feeling. When we finally understand that revelation, I believe that we will begin to make better choices from that place of love. If this resonates with you and you have realized that many of your decisions have been made with your emotions and not from a place of understanding that love is a choice, say this prayer with me:

Heavenly Father, I humbly come before you today. I thank you for the revelation that love is not a feeling but a choice. I ask that you help me not only to understand this revelation but also to apply it to my life when it comes to making decisions. Help me to make decisions from a place of understanding that love is a choice and not a feeling. I ask that you transform my way of thinking to imitate yours when it comes to understanding and moving with and out of love. In Jesus' name, I pray, amen.